Six years today

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I remember what I was doing 6 years ago right now. I was asleep. I was exhausted. I was a mom. I was excited, and I was scared too. The night before I had stayed up until I was at the point of exhaustion. John was working nights and I had a hard time falling asleep by myself so I would wait until I could hardly keep my eyes open until would go to bed. I was just at that point when I coughed, and my water broke. I was in denial. Alan was supposed to be a New Years baby, so I tried to convince myself that I had just peed my pants (you know there is a problem when you are hoping that you peed your pants). I called John and he came home and took me to the hospital. I honestly was clueless until the nurse asked me if I was in any pain. I said "I feel fine now but I was really hurting a minute ago" She just looked at me and said "those are contractions honey."

Of course I was only 33 weeks along and I wasn't supposed to be having a baby yet, so they put my on some wonderful drugs that made my heart race out of control and when that didn't stop things they gave more drugs that made me loose everything in my stomach. Of course they wouldn't give me the epidural because they were hopeful that Alan would be able to wait at least 48 hours before being born (the steroid shot takes 48 hours to take effect). Well he didn't wait and about 5 or 6 the next evening they gave up and gave me the epidural (yea!). A few hours later we were blessed with Alan. I was so worried that he would be small for his age (gestation), I kept praying that he would be at least 4 lbs. I gave a big sigh of relief when the doctor said that he was 5 lb 1 oz. He was huge!

I'll be honest. I was so exhausted, and so scared, I couldn't believe that he was real. It seemed more like a dream to me. A few hours later I went to visit my son for the first time in the NICU. I couldn't hold him but I sat there watching him. Was this really my son? It just didn't seem real. I didn't know him, he could be anyone. But then he twitched and kicked out his leg. THAT, I knew. I knew that kick. I would recognize that anywhere. That was my son! I had been feeling that kick for a few months and when I saw that kick, I realized that I was a mom. He was mine, and love overflowed from my heart.

Five weeks later he came home. Five days before Christmas we got our Christmas present. Oh how blessed we were to have this boy with us. He has been a blessing ever since. Alan, you are six years old today and I wouldn't trade those six years for anything. Happy Birthday!